Smile. Look them in the eye. Dont cross your arms. Dont get too close. Use their body language. Dont blink too much.

Everyone has something to say about how you present yourself. But sometimes I wonder if we can go to far when following these instructions.

I wonder if they dont sometimes wonder if the guy looking them directly in the eye the whole time is well a little scary. If the the guy who smiles so much maybe just doesnt have enough of a clue to know when he shouldnt smile. If that guy who never blinks might be a robot.

I have heard about all these little body language things for many years. I think we have all heard about them at some point or another. Hey, it doesnt take a brain surgeon to tell me that when you smile, it relaxes people. But we dont always do it. Sometimes we have to think about it. I wonder if thats not just the worst thing in the world.

I mean, I know I shouldnt cross my arms all the time. It seems like Im mad or maybe in a power stance. And putting your hands on your hips is the same. But many is the time I have stood there with my arms dangling to my sides going, I want to do something with my arms! I cant just let them swing there! It feels too weird! I mean, theyre SWINGING, for Gods sake!

And I KNOW that people hate it (OK, well, I know that I hate it) when people answer the phone by saying what a great day it is before even saying hello. No one wants to hear someone THAT irrationally cheerful. Its even more annoying when I am having a bad day.

At the same time, I know that people do notice things like that maybe just subconsciously, but they do. And I know I would rather work with someone who is pleasant to be around, and who makes me feel at east. Thats why I work for myself, after all. But their has to be a way to have a positive outlook and not send out signals that you are mad and unhappy without seeming like some insane robot person.

As I move forward in my career I just want to find that fine line between coming across with cheerful competence, vs coming across like an insane psychopath.